The oldest picture of my amazing grandfather that comes to mind is one of him holding the reins to a young cow next to my grandmother. He was young and lean. They couldn’t have been out of their teen years.
He couldn’t play sports like I did so he could help his family on the farm survive.
His father passed away when he was only 13 years old, when he assumed responsibility for his younger brother, their mother, and the family estate.
These are the circumstances he had. This is the hand he was dealt.
And he was a man’s man.
A few years later he went off to World War II to become a radioman over the Pacific Ocean. The Greatest Generation didn’t know excuses. They just showed up.
He didn’t let his children slide as they grew up, just as his mom and dad didn’t let him.
You had to show up in the morning even before going to school for the little family assembly line to work.
This was so you could even make it.
There were no “if’s, and’s or but’s” about it.
My aunts and uncles had to milk cows, feed cattle, my mother even had to slaughter rabbits as a girl (I’ll spare you the details). This was rural life in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s.
I used to consider my grandpa—second generation from Germany– to be a hard man, which he was—mentally.
And all this stemmed from a lifestyle of making zero excuses.
Excuses are bad for the family, bad for the community and bad for society. And I am not aiming to glorify the harsh realities my predecessors lived through. That’s not my point.
I am just saying what they went through made them better human beings, with greater character than if they were left to their own impulses.
The trick is to giving any excuse made as a teaching moment for your children. This will not be acceptable because _____
Not to be mean-spirited, but to let your children know why you won’t tolerate foolish behavior. To let them know the results from someone who has been there.
Though he was hard on his own children, he never came down on me, though he wouldn’t tolerate stupidity. He didn’t allow excuses.
Disallowing excuses is one of the greatest—mark my words—gifts a man can give to his children. This is coming from someone who was not raised with a father.
It teaches them there are rules. Without adherence to rules, you will become a rogue, testing the limits too far…way too far.
This I did occasionally, and was allowed to suffer the consequences. And you know what?
I was better off for it! I thank God for my grandfather, who I will rejoice with in heaven one day!
According to one family story passed down, grandpa let my Uncle deal with the consequences as well.
It goes like this:
Uncle Lou—he must’ve been in only about third grade—he and a friend got in their minds they would take a bus out west to become cowboys.
Well, my grandfather met him at the bus stop.
He took him back home, and gave him the most righteous butt-whipping a father ever gave his son. That was harsh. But a boy without peach fuzz being saved from a dangerous, hundreds-of-miles fantasy met the punishment.
If there ever was a righteous series of spanks—that was it!
In fact, the scriptures have something to say about this:
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24).”
As grandpa didn’t let them get away with things, nor did my grandmother, you can behold the fruit of their tutelage.
Of their five children who survived (two twins died in infancy), they became:
A software developer, high school Spanish teacher, coal miner, convenience store owner/journalist for a daily newspaper, and a manager for two parts dealerships.
No excuses there. They got up, got going and didn’t look back. These were productive members of their respective households who raised their families, and took care of their responsibilities.
Because they took responsibility for their homes, they in turn became productive members of society.
These aunts and uncles did not make excuses for getting the job done. Because when you begin to make excuses, it is easier to excuse another moral defect, or bad choice you made. Before long, you’re swimming in regret.
Your family suffers for it. So does your neighborhood, your community. Then your nation.
Thank you, God, for parents who hold their children to a standard.
Before signing off, what excuses are you making in your life?
Perspective 